The world is on fire, and none of this really matters of course. But the flag youвЂ™ll be planting wonвЂ™t be the same as the one youвЂ™d be planting if youвЂ™d brought some Natty Boh to a Yuengling party. Or it might not really matter one damn lick. And though you may well find yourself veering into some kind of discussion about your beer selection, it will probably be more about which very fine brewery manufactured the thing you are drinking. It probably wonвЂ™t be very refreshing, but it sure might serve as great fuel for whatever argument you get into when you start pounding the $20 six-pack that may also serve as your only salve for whatвЂ™s about to unfold. Like: When you sit down to your meal this Thursday (or вЂround abouts this Thursday) with your fam or chosen fam, youвЂ™ll probably find yourself in front of a crafty something or other. Actually, maybe it is? IвЂ™m going to level with you here and say IвЂ™m not entirely sure what this is about - IвЂ™m only sure that there is something here about regional identity that feels sectarian in nature. There used to be more, of course, but thatвЂ™s not what this is about.

Yuengling, National Bohemian, and Lone Star represent three versions of affordable, simple regional beers. ThatвЂ™s to say that some small piece of my identity isnвЂ™t wrapped up in some weird idea that an alcoholic beverage that purports to be the вЂњNational Beer of TexasвЂќ represents the person that I am. But itвЂ™s garbage that does not remind me of home, and so I do not like to drink it.

And the local skunkworks belong to Lone Star Beer. As you may have read, things are way different down here. Texas, you will remember, is west of Pittsburgh, a fact that meant no Yuengling for me-at least until recently. It was my go-to, and I would absolutely seek it out, awfulness and all-at least until I moved to Texas. Whatever it was (or is), Yuengling came to spell D.C. But I am very sad to report that I have never indulged in a Crab Shack Shandy, and if I did run into some original flavor Natty Boh along the way, I certainly donвЂ™t remember the experience. Looking back, it seems like National Bohemian might have been a better candidate for a kind-of hometown beer? Its legend is, after all, of Baltimore origin. It probably has something to do with the fact that it used to be pretty hard to find the stuff once you got west of, IвЂ™d guess, Pittsburgh. For whatever reason, the drink I most associate with my hometown is Yuengling. I grew up in Washington, D.C., and that place means a whole lot to me. And thatвЂ™s to say nothing of what happens when you find yourself in front of a tallboy (yes, I know), pondering the limited beauty of 16 ounces of cold beer before time and space warms whatever you canвЂ™t drink in the approximately 25 minutes it takes for the liquid inside the can to reach room temperature.Д«ut still - I do find myself pondering said limited beauty. Even a quick pull from a longneck that originated at the longest-running brewery in the United States leaves you wondering just what the fuck youвЂ™re doing trying to put a thing that actually tastes like spoiled grain (yes, I know) into your body. Yuengling is an objectively terrible beverage.

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